Hey, I just found out my bf of over 4 months used to be gay. but he’s not the one who told me. his best friend did. I don’t know if he was lying or not, but I haven’t talked to my bf about it yet, cuz I don’t know what to say or if his friend was lying. I’m close to his sister so I asked her and she said that he was. So I’m pretty sure she was telling the truth. I’m so mad at him but don’t know how to confront him. Help!!! Btw I’m 24 he’s 26.
Weezy: You must confront him. You had every right to know about his dating and sexual history. But you are going to have to set your anger aside for this conversation.
You need to ask him in a straight forward, non judgmental manner. If you are angry and you back him into a corner, you won’t learn what you need to learn and what you need is the truth.
First the physical part. If you and he have been intimate, then you need to be tested. Gay men are still at a higher risk for HIV-AIDS and he must be honest with you about his sexual history so that you can protect yourself.
Now the emotional part. It is highly unlikely that he “used to be” gay. Most men are either gay or not. He may be trying to live as a straight man or able to fall in love with a woman but still feeling attracted to men or some mix of the above.
But wherever his head and his heart and his body are, in terms of his sexuality, it does effect you and you do need to hear the truth. In order to get the truth, approach him with no anger. Speak with him. Learn what you need to learn and then you can cry, talk to loved ones, get a health screening and plan your next move.
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