Thanks, but now Trinnie took that as an invitation to "make her own move" on him. Now Elaine's sad, because she's worried Ed will cheat on her. (Ed is a player, and has a history of cheating on girls.) I think I should get Elaine's permission and have Elaine and Trinnie come to my house and have like 'group therapy' but I'll tell Trinnie it's because Elaine's sad. The subject will be Ed and we have to answer all questions honestly. Do you think this is a good idea? Or am I completely stupid and should I just cancel it? What could I do to make it better?
Weezy: I think it's a great idea and I think that ground rules are very important. But the ground rules should not be about ultimatums such as "complete honesty." They should provide safety.
Everyone needs to feel safe. They can speak and they will not be attacked. You should use a a "speaking item." This can be a stuffed animal or something that you hold when you speak. The person holding the item must not be interrupted. If someone wishes to speak, they can raise their hand and the person with the item can finish their thought and then call on them. If anyone feels threatened or attacked, they can ask for a time out.
It would be great if an adult or an impartial person could be present to mediate and keep things fair.
I am always a big fan of talking things out, but the space must be safe and your goal should be that nobody leaves until EVERYONE is feeling better.
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